i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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