Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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