hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
