Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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