Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
