Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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