i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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