carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
farters have to be the big spoon...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize