Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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