Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
