and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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