Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
