Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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