I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
