This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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