absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
