I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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