New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
