Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
