There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
