I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
