So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
