u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
