my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
no, he came in my armpit
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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