So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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