Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
