thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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