Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
