Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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