oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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