apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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