opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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