I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick very happy bro
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize