Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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