I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
