i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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