worst night to have a conscience
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
