Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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