Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
