Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i've created a new STD.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
