cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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