How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize