thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
