I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
