When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
