Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
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So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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