its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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