I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the day after is always just damage control
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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