My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
