HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
two words: eviction party
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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