I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
A+ Viking dick
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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