so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
