marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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