I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
