I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
