Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
